Entry 26 - Move to the Philippines (September to present 2018)

Hi to one and all, and in no particular order, Katherine, Pam, Mark & Marie & family, to Peter & Anne, Pat & Paul, Christina and to all the family & friends that know me.

First off, apologises for the delay in sending this update. So much going on, all of which will unfold in the following account. Internet connection and to a lesser degree consistent power supply are a major issue here.

Decision made, tickets booked, we'd determined that there was only one course of action left open to bring our family together.

Arrived in Bangkok as scheduled on the 22nd September after a pleasant overnight flight with Eva airlines. Usual performance in Bangkok, the hotel failed to collect me from the airport as pre-arranged and an over-priced trip by taxi, otherwise all okay.

I’d opted for a hotel, The Hope Land Hotel, close to Sukhumvit a familiar part of central Bangkok, and a short walk to the overland BTS train, so most things in principle accessible. I'd deliberately arrived several days in advanced to do some ground-work for possible things to do once Mary & Aliyah joined me and to source a new competitively priced balloon supplier for Mary's business. After several fruitless days of wandering and struggling, invariably due to a language issue, Mary and I decided to abandon the search and stick with the ‘tried and tested’ set-up based in Manila.

25th September, Mary & Aliyah arrived as pre-arranged. Mary very pleased to see me whilst Aliyah somewhat subdued and a little uncertain. I think the scene had already been set that I was flying back with them on a semi-permanent basis, so not so much of a holiday this time. I guess her reaction was to be expected, confused and a little apprehensive.

We spent several days site seeing, and I'll let the photo's do the talking. Suffice to say we stayed within close proximity to the hotel and easy reach of the BTS overland train network. We were there, after all, to meet and travel back as a family to activate what is known as a Balikbayan Visa. It allows a person legally married to a Filipino to stay for 1 year.

Pictures of our time in Bangkok

28th September, we gathered ourselves, taxi to the airport and a comparatively short flight from Bangkok (about 3 and a bit hours) we arrived intact at Manila airport, although my new case didn't. Damaged beyond repair. Thanks to Cebu Pacific although fortunately nothing missing. My passport was stamped as expected for a 1-year stay.

All set for our trip to Manila

To cut a long story short, we stayed overnight in Manila, as usual in ‘One Palm Tree Apartments’ walking distance to Cebu Pacific terminal, caught a mid-day flight to Butuan where we were collected by a cousin, and driven the 80 kilometres to Gingoog City, in what is known as a multi cab. Small, short wheel based truck with enclosed cabin for two, along with an open area at the back partially covered and fitted with a garden bench. The bench very uncomfortable and the fibreglass cover low, so as a rear seat passenger, squatting so as not to hit your head proved interesting! 

I’d driven it once before, some time ago. My first attempt getting out of a steep drive from the De Erio Residence, I ended rolling the truck back into the front of the house. Not much damage done though, thankfully. They're not really made for large Westernisers. My knees kept hitting the underside of the dashboard and the pedals are so close together that you end up spanning two pedals at the same time. Disastrous! The hand brake wasn’t much use either, once I found it!

Gingoog City is set on the northern coast of the island of Mindanao, the largest southern most islands in the Philippines archipelago. To the east approximately 80 kilometres away, Butuan, to the west Cagayan De Oro, 92 kilometres distance. 

Gingoog City, part of Misamis Oriental, comprises a population of around 300,000 people. Retail, produce market, farming, fishing, a Del Monte factory, where Ferrero Roche is produced along with a cannery for pineapple, various coconut farms in the surrounding hills, the subsidiary industries and a couple of small beaches make up the primary GDP. A new Gaisano mall, currently under construction, spread over 10 hectares is due to open in 2020, which will provide GC's first cinema complex and an indoor shopping experience. There’s a bigger competitor, Robinson, opposite hoping to build a similar sized mall with overtures from City Mall as well, so it should inject opportunity and more life into the city, which will be a godsend. There’s one hotel and an additional two along the coast, as well as various simple homesteads (cheap and simple accommodation).

Trip to the nearby mountains and Korean Commune

There are a growing number of reasonable restaurants in Town some owned and run by expats, all of which provide good food. The city itself is surrounded on three sides by lush green tree lined hills and mountains with the sea lining the remaining side. There’s an abundance of produce both from the sea and hillside farms, despite the rather hot and humid conditions. If there is a down side it’s hygiene, pollution, both land and sea, and mosquitoes, oddly enough more of a problem now than I'd previously experienced!

Washday in Gingoog City

Mary, Aliyah and I finally arrived together at our little house that we’d built some six years previous, and four years since last I visited.

Not much to it really, a plywood double skinned shack with a pitched zinc corrugated roof over, approximately 12’ x 16’, elevated from the ground supported by concrete columns. Comprising a small kitchen, CR (shower room) and living/ bedroom; Mary had clearly made the best of what she had, cupboards extending across one wall in the bed area, colour added to the kitchen and bedroom walls to make it more homely, interesting choice of floor covering and lots of charts and posters to aid in Aliyah’s development.

It looked a little jaded now, partially washed out crayon marks covering the bedroom walls, posters torn or looking a little ragged, rotten wood in key areas with an obvious attempt to hide or obscure.

It came as a disappointment, and with a sense of guilt that I had done little to improve the situation.

 Out and about in Gingoog City

Small, cluttered and lost now in the changes bought about by altering circumstances. Access to our house, restricted by the construction of sister Lyn’s new three-storey house, incomplete, and abutting up against the original family home, the alley further constrained by materials, wood and discarded items. The Philippines and Filipinos like so many countries lack a sense of order and a desire to dispose of useless items. Less than an arms length from Mary’s small single storey home, restricting the light to the kitchen and blocking the movement of air, it created a dismal place to spend much time in.

Mamma & Papa, Mary’s mother & father, moved to GC, Gingoog City, many years ago, bought some land and established a home for themselves and their family, along the principle highway. 

I guess all those years ago, Gingoog City was possibly a quiet backwater with little movement of traffic, not so now.

They’d determined, as they drifted into their dotage (now both 68 years) that they’d surround themselves with their children. Unfortunately it can have consequences.

Lyn, always loyal, works for the government in the Environmental Department in GC. It seemed logically, therefore, to build a home for herself, her husband (he died some years ago in a motorbike accident), family of two and nannie, in her parents compound. Bing, Mary’s younger sister, raised by her aunt, quite common here when one family has a lot of children and the aunt has none, drifted somewhat and returned only when she fell pregnant. Jhun, the only male offspring, currently lives on part of our plot and runs a motorbike repair shop, although he returns to the main house for meals.

We've served him a 1-year notice to quit the site, and find alternative arrangements, as we will develop that side of the plot at some point.

A few years back sister Angie, split with her drug-addicted partner and returned to the fold with three children in tow and quickly employed a nannie to aid in raising her children.

Baron, an adopted cousin, resides in the main house; he works in GC within one of the government planning departments. Then there’s Dwight, he attends school in GC; sister Arcelie’s son (she resides in the mountains in her own home and teaches in the local school there).

So there we have it, mother & father, four direct off spring, nine grandchildren, two son-in-laws, a cousin and two nannies, all virtually under the same roof. Oh and I forgot to mention, four dogs and five cats!!

The living arrangements are as follows; Part of the small front house still remaining, originally sister’s Lyn’s first house and due for demolition to make way for a storm gully, is now home to sister Bing, husband, Blessie & baby Sky. Sister Lyn’s incomplete house, interlocked with her old original house, is home to Lyn and her two children. Then behind that, her back wall an arms length away, is our small house. Almost a step and a half away from us is the main house and home to the remaining entourage.

Initially, it was good to see everybody, however, the malaise of noise from man and beast throughout the day and night, tied up dogs whining constantly, children screaming late into the night, traffic loudly announcing there presence, narrow and precarious access to and fro from our property, the shambles of what constituted a garden with items dumped ‘willy nilly’, the distance to the town centre and the unattractive route in, along with a complete lack of space to do anything, after several weeks finally got to me.

There were lots of other reasons. We’d designed a house, with a shop under, to be built on half of a nearby plot we own. We were getting a plethora of opinions from all un-sundry some helpful, some not so. It just added to the confusion of trying to understand the right way to do things.

Apparently the evolution of Lyn’s house followed a similar path. Bits built then demolished, all an unnecessary expense, as everyone threw in their point of view. She’s now left with an unfinished property that falls short of what she wanted it doesn’t meet the building standards and now lacks the funds or inclination to continue.

We both felt the need for space to allow our ideas to evolve and follow ‘our own’ agenda. I would add, that I felt things needed to be done to a professional standard rather than allow enthusiastic well-meaning amateurs to influence matters. Don’t get me wrong we need the support, contacts and guidance from certain family members, but on our terms.

In addition there’d been a serious out-break of Dengue fever, traced to stagnant water behind where we’re living. With three confirmed life-threatening cases within the De Erio family alone. Thankfully all survived, but for a period it was touch and go.

What I struggle to understand, there seems little desire in preventing further outbreaks by applying simple precautionary measures. Closed doors and windows, restricting movement of children outside late at night or applying anti-mosquito patches and or lotion. Rather put the life of a child in jeopardy and pay a hefty medical bill afterwards!!

Finally, I felt, and I think Mary now agrees, that we needed the space to be a family of three! The added bonus, Mary now has an excellent area to carry out her balloon/flower making activity, which is emerging as a serious business opportunity. I don’t know if my being here has freed Mary up to take on more or it’s just a co-incidence, but who cares it’s an important source of income.

To expand that point, Mary has been inundated with requests, small and large, throughout November and into December, culminating in a large contract to adorn a 30’ flat-bed truck, as well as the event hall for the principle school here, namely “Christ The King’s College”, the theme, ‘Havana Nights’. The occasion an alumni, it’s an opportunity for old school member’s to gather and celebrate. I think it’s more about promoting the school, invariable financed by donations from students past and present.

I’ve attached various pictures, just as a sample of what Mary is capable of

So there we are, less than three weeks ago, we moved to a spacious, light and airy, ground floor apartment, about 54 square meters, walking distance to most things especially Aliyah’s school. We’re gradually making the space into our home, however temporary.

Bit by bit the relationship between Mary & I, and Aliyah and I is improving. As of September and October the connection between Mary, Aliyah and family was strong. Throughout November it’s evolved in a different direction. Aliyah’s becoming more self-confident, socially aware and self-assured, although there’s still a long way to go. I think the more time ‘we’ spend with her, whether it’s simply playing, socialising with friends or aiding her education, the stronger ‘our’ relationship will become. She’s still very defensive towards her mother, and her language can be a little abrupt or curt at times, especially first thing; something she’s inherited from her mother, but I think all of that will change.

Oddly enough, Mary’s interaction with her family has altered to. I think some of it’s borne out of jealousy, through the open flow of money with the construction of our home, the move to rented accommodation some distance away and the cost involved, the purchase of furnishings along with the success of Mary’s emerging business; I think her family have also realised what she’s capable of now.

Some of it’s perhaps due to adopting and embracing a Westernised way of doing things, invariably through exposure to foreigners with Filipino wives. Recognising that ‘our’ family takes priority and we’re not here with an open hand to resolve their issues. I would also suggest that now Mary is away from her family, she’s able express her true feelings about certain siblings.

I’ll take the positive out of what I can see occurring, it has to be about ‘us’ first, home and income next, the rest comes later.

There’ve been problems along the way, Mary’s concern about the cost of renting, and the logistics of managing the house development from afar, but nothing insurmountable with co-operation, trust and forward planning.

With regards the house we’re building, it’s been a somewhat convoluted process, both in understanding the correct procedure, securing competent workmen and finalising the design and I’m sure that will continue throughout the process. It’s already changed from a shop and apartment to a three-bedroom house.

I’ve always tried to apply the principle; observe, ask questions, look at the options, see the mistakes made by others and then make a decision about how to move forward. That’s how we arrived at where we are.

Building a commercial and residential property creates two annual property taxes, one much higher than the other. We’d also determined that we wanted the residential area to be as far away from the highway as possible. It also made more sense to extend the current small store we built some years ago, we already incur commercial tax anyway, more over it doesn’t require additional permission to alter.

It ought to take about 6 months to build weather and work force permitting. We’re currently at ground floor level, laying the concrete floor tomorrow (5^th December) and the beams for the 1^st floor this coming week.

The first stage of the development, divide the plot in half and build a centre boundary wall. Remove all of the many trees on the plot, burn the residue and then raise the ground by about 1/2 a meter (approximately 7/8  20 tonne truck loads of soil). Build a temporary work area out of wood and zinc corrugated roofing, to shade the work force from sun and rain. Mark out the position of the nine supporting columns and dig down. Insert a network of  6 x 16mm bars, linked together to form the structural support and pour in the concrete foundation.

Once they've set the foundations for the walling can be completed, and so it continues as the photo's illustrate. 10mm bars are inserted, evenly spaced, in the slits in the hollow blocks then as each layer of blocks are laid they pour cement into the gaps to create a solid wall. No double skinned wall here just one layer of blocks, with the next floor and the roof overhanging to shield the wall and windows from sunlight and rain. I forgot to mention, once ground level is reached a concrete beam is constructed layered with 16mm bars in a box section, to stop water ingress and for structural support. A 15 foot deep septic tank is dug, walled and lined, off to one side.

We’ve met and befriended a number of Filipino’s and ex-pats here; being more accessible to everything means that we are able to socialise more as a family, and we don’t have to run the gauntlet of explanations to various family members enquiring, 'where are you going' with a look of envy, invariably. Even though Aliyah’s away from her nieces and cousins, she seems more relaxed and amiable in her new surroundings, so that’s good news. We also have more than enough space for anyone that would like to visit. Hint! Hint!

Out and about in and around Gingoog City - various

Not so long back we attended Aliyah's school sports day, although it was more about staged dance routines than sport activities. She attends Marion's Business School, for two hours, five days a week. She seems to enjoy it and has made many friends, which we're encouraged by as they provide a more positive impact on her development. I'm a little unclear, however, as to whether she's receiving sufficient tutoring. Two hours a day seems severely lacking. Something we'll have to keep a close eye on. 

Aliyah has a really good singing voice and a natural ability to move and dance well. She's clearly observant, quick to learn, enthusiastic, willing to please her peers and has natural rhythm and understanding.

Sports day & school time at Marion's Business School

Interestingly enough they test the children on a monthly basis, and every Sunday following, the parents are called in to discuss the child’s progress. As of Sunday the 2^nd December Aliyah received a 1^st Honours. She’s eager to learn, well mannered, enthusiastic and wants to attend school. In fact she’s disappointed that she can’t go at the weekends.

Mary, Aliyah and I have attended various birthday celebrations here, which are lavish and over the top, certainly I guess in Western eyes. They’re very staged managed and lack spontaneity.

Birthday parties in the Philippines

In addition, an aunt’s funeral that I found difficult to deal with, I guess in particular because mum's death is still fresh in the memory. It’s such an intense occasion. Meeting and greeting so many strangers over many days, all interested in you and plethora of repetitive responses. The whole affair culminating with the interning of the body in a stacked above ground crypt that defies all health and safety laws to get to. The most extraordinary thing, the sheer volume of people clambering to see the coffin inserted in its final resting place, accompanied by the ‘hangers on’, children clambering over four storey dilapidated grandiose crypts, just to beg for money. Stranger still its immortalised in mega pixels!!

Fireworks and Christmas lights

We didn't stay for the turning on of the lights. Philippines love their speeches and formality of the occasion, with everyone from the Mayor down paying tribute to one person or another, interspersed with dance sequences amongst and musical interludes. We saw the fireworks on the way home which was the culmination of the event. Most of the city of Gingoog turned out, and with a youngster in tow it proved tiring for her.

I think that’s about it for now. I’ll try and put the next write up together for after Christmas. Essential things are going well. The next major expenditure and dilemma is transportation. I don’t want to purchase anything to grandiose but it needs to be substantive enough to attend to all our needs.

Overnight stay in The Almont Hotel Butuan for Xmas shopping

I've sent several additional recorded video's independently as I'm unable to load them on this blog.

Take care and we’ll speak again soon. I think that we will also try and organise a Skype chat nearer to Christmas. Lots of love Peter, Mary and Aliyah xxxx😀😀😀😀